How Dating is Different for Strong, Independent Women

What does an independent woman want in a relationship? She wants just what any other woman wants: an honest, loving, and supportive relationship. And she dates just like other women: She searches for a compatible partner, dedicates time and effort to growing the relationship, and hopes for a future together. The only difference is that independent, empowered women often have high standards and a low tolerance for nonsense. 

By nature, strong, independent women prioritize themselves and other important aspects of their lives, like their careers and personal values. They are fun, fierce, and inspiring. What’s more, they make really great partners!

But while independent women bring a lot to the table, some potential partners have trouble navigating romantic relationships with them. In some cases, they might get offended by her need to be direct, and in other cases, they may not appreciate her desire for self-sufficiency.

Whether you’re feeling confused or sensing a disconnect between you and your partner, in our guide below, we cover everything you need to know about seeing an independent woman in the modern dating world. 

What to Expect When Dating an Independent Woman

What can you expect when dating an independent woman? And do you need to date differently than you would with other women? Follow along to discover some common attributes of strong, independent women and how that may impact your approach to dating. 

She Doesn’t Want to Play Games

Chances are, an independent woman doesn’t have the time or interest in playing games. She’s not looking for some on- and off-again fling, a relationship without a future, or a partner who’s unwilling to commit. This also means she’s not going to sit by the phone waiting for you to call, hang around while you get over your ex, or stick around when you stand her up. 

If you want to date an independent woman, you’ve got to be on your A-game because she’s not going to put up with anything less. As with dating any woman, it’s important to treat her with respect, value her time, and be straight with her about your feelings and intentions. It’s fine if you’re not looking for a serious commitment, but just be sure to communicate this with her from the get-go.

She Shares Responsibilities

What are the signs of an independent woman? Well, for starters, they’re self-sufficient. They thrive in their careers, oversee their households, and maintain busy social calendars–and they’ll likely expect you to do the same. 

They don’t need to be taken care of, and they certainly have no intentions of taking care of you. Therefore, in their relationships, independent women expect both parties to come to the table and equally contribute, whether that’s taking turns planning date night, cleaning the dishes, or splitting the bill at dinner. 

If you slack, cut corners, or take advantage of her, that’s one sure way to stop your relationship in its tracks. 

She’s Direct

A strong woman who is sure of herself is not going to beat around the bush. She’ll be honest and direct as she tells you how it is. If you hurt her feelings, she’ll tell you, and if you’re not pulling your weight in the relationship, she’ll let you know. And she’ll want you to do the same. 

Your best course of action is to be honest and communicate with her. Don’t do things behind her back, make up excuses, or string her along. If you can’t be direct or appreciate her directness, you’ll have difficulty even getting your relationship off the ground. 

She Appreciates Time to Herself

Independent women cherish their alone time. It doesn’t matter how they use that time—going for a run, painting in the studio, or scrolling on Instagram—but they need that space to recharge. 

When dating an independent woman, give her space, avoid smothering her and being clingy, and don’t take offense when she asks for privacy. If she has room to breathe and be herself, she’ll likely have more energy to invest in the relationship. 

She Wants Someone Who Complements Her Life

Independent women don’t go into relationships because they crave attention, need validation, or want reassurance. In fact, they’re perfectly content with the lives they’ve built for themselves. So, if they’re going to date, it has to be with someone who will further enhance their lives. 

If you bring negativity into the relationship or make things more difficult for her, it’s not going to work. Instead, think about the ways you can better her life, whether that’s being her rock during stressful times, cheering her on from the sidelines, or making her laugh out loud after a long day at work. 

She’s Compatible with Driven Partners

Strong women are most compatible with passionate, driven partners who not only can keep up but also challenge them and inspire them to be even better. No, you don’t need to be making six figures and running your own business, but it is important to have goals and aspirations and a drive to succeed. 

She Can Take Care of Herself

As the name suggests, independent women are, well, independent. They like taking charge, being in control, and not relying on others. Because of this, they don’t want to be coddled or need constant reassurance. Understanding that she’s fully capable and can take care of herself may mean stepping back and letting her do things her way or allowing her to figure out some things on her own. 

That said, just because she handles things on her own doesn’t mean she doesn’t need some help every now and again. When dating an independent woman, don’t wait for her to ask you for a hand because she may see that as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. It’s okay to take the initiative sometimes, whether that means opening the car door for her, surprising her with dinner, or picking up groceries even though they were already on her to-do list. 

As long as you don’t dote on her and act as though she is a fragile little flower, then your assistance will likely be appreciated. 

She’ll Let Down Her Walls—Eventually

Some independent women can sometimes seem closed-offish, but that’s often just a way of protecting their hearts. If they don’t open up, they can’t get hurt. 

Will they ever let their guard down? Absolutely, but only after earning your trust. Give her time to warm up to you, and make sure to create space in your relationship where she feels safe, secure, and supported. When she’s comfortable and relaxed with you, you’ll get to enjoy her softer side. 

She Needs a Secure Partner

Yes, independent women have a lot going for themselves, but if you’re intimidated by her money or success, it’s going to be a no-go. These women aren’t necessarily looking for a partner who is as or more successful than them, but they do want someone who is confident in their standing. 

Strong women aren’t compatible with those who tear them down or get jealous of their accomplishments. An insecure man or woman may not be up to the challenge if they’re held back by their own insecurities. 

If you’re feeling inferior or embarrassed by her success, take a good hard look at yourself and determine if you’ll be able to support her and celebrate her achievements along the way. 

She Deserves Love

She may be self-sufficient, independent, and capable, but she’s also sensitive, caring, and loving. She’s not some heartless robot—she’s a woman with thoughts and feelings, and she deserves love and support just like any other person. When dating an independent woman, focus on offering her that love and support without coddling her or being overbearing. 

So, is it worth dating an independent woman? Definitely, as long as you can keep up, pull your own weight, and appreciate her sense of independence, then you could be a perfect match.